Pink Pineapple: Benny Blanco's Latest PR Stunt? (Pineapple-Mania Ensues)

So, a pink pineapple, huh? Scientists got bored and decided regular yellow wasn't good enough. Let's be real, it's just another way to squeeze more cash out of us.

Pink Pineapple: Because Regular Fruit Was Too Boring?

The Lycopene Lie Okay, so they tweaked the DNA to keep lycopene from turning into beta-carotene. Lycopene, for those who skipped science class, is what makes tomatoes red. Now, they're slapping it in a pineapple. Why? Because Instagram. They’re trying to sell us the idea that this is some kind of health revolution, rich in Vitamin C and antioxidants. Give me a break. You can get that from, oh, I don’t know, *actual* fruits and vegetables that haven't been genetically molested. And the price tag? $25 to $50 *per pineapple*? For that price, it better sing and dance. They say it's because of "limited production" and "elegant packaging". Translation: We're charging you extra because you're dumb enough to pay it. But wait, are we really supposed to believe that this genetic modification is only preserving lycopene? What else are they messing with? We're trusting these guys with our food supply, and honestly... I have questions.

Pink Pineapples: Instagram Bait or Actual Food?

The Influencer Infection Benny Blanco thinks it tastes "incredible." Of course he does. He's probably getting paid to say that. This whole thing reeks of a marketing stunt disguised as a scientific breakthrough. And the influencers are eating it up, posting their perfectly filtered photos of pink pineapple slices. It's all so…contrived. They call it an "Instagram-worthy snack." That's it, isn't it? We've reached peak absurdity when our food has to be photogenic before it's edible. What happened to just enjoying something for its taste, not its online clout? It takes over two years to cultivate each pink pineapple? That's two years they could have spent solving world hunger or, I don't know, curing cancer. But no, let's make a pink pineapple. Makes perfect sense. Offcourse, I'm just being cynical. Maybe it's the caffeine withdrawal kicking in.

Pink Pineapple: Nature's Sunset Gets a Filter

The Pineapple Paradox Regular pineapples are golden-yellow because the lycopene converts to beta-carotene. So, they're literally *stopping* a natural process to make it pink. It's like painting a sunset to make it "better." It's messing with nature for the sake of aesthetics. And for what? So some rich influencer can pose with it? They say it aids digestion because of bromelain. Newsflash: regular pineapples have bromelain too. So, what's the real difference here? Color. That's it. We're paying a premium for a different shade of fruit. I can't decide if I'm impressed or disgusted. Probably both. It's All a Big, Pink Lie It's a pineapple. It's pink. People are losing their minds. I need a drink.