The Market on Thanksgiving: Open or Shut? And Does It Even Matter?

Okay, so Thanksgiving's here again. Time for the annual guilt-fest over stuffing your face and pretending to enjoy your relatives' company. But hey, at least the stock market's closed, right? A small win for sanity in this increasingly insane world.

Wall Street's Holiday Hangover

Yeah, yeah, the NYSE and Nasdaq are taking a breather on Thanksgiving. No surprise there. It's a federal holiday, which means even the suits on Wall Street get a day to loosen their ties and argue about politics over the mashed potatoes. The article says they close at 1 p.m. ET the day after Thanksgiving too...Black Friday lite, I guess? Is the stock market open on Thanksgiving Day? See NYSE trading hours

But let's be real, is this really about giving people a break? Or is it just another excuse for the big players to manipulate the market behind closed doors while the rest of us are distracted by tryptophan comas? I mean, what's stopping them from pre-planning moves to execute the second the market reopens? Probably nothing.

And speaking of holidays, they're closed Christmas Day and New Year's Day too. Big whoop. The world's still gonna be a dumpster fire on January 2nd, so thanks for nothing.

The Illusion of Rest

The article mentions that most federal and private sector workers get paid time off. Okay, boomer. Let's see...paid time off? More like a frantic scramble to catch up on emails while simultaneously trying to avoid Uncle Jerry's conspiracy theories.

I mean, sure, it's nice that the markets are closed. Gives you a day to, ya know, not obsessively check your portfolio and spiral into existential dread. But does it actually change anything? Does it make the system any less rigged? Does it magically fix inflation or geopolitical instability? Offcourse not.

Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe a day away from the flashing green and red numbers is what we need to reconnect with what's real. Or maybe it's just a fleeting moment of peace before the next wave of economic chaos crashes down on us. I don't know, am I being too cynical?

The Unanswered Questions

Here's what gets me: Why these holidays? Why not Election Day? Or National Donut Day? (Okay, maybe not Donut Day). But seriously, who decides which days are important enough to shut down the entire financial system? And what kind of backroom deals are being made while everyone's "off"?

And what about the rest of the world? Are their markets closed too? Or are they just laughing at us for taking a day off to celebrate...what, exactly? Colonialism and the near-extinction of the indigenous population? Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

So, What's the Point of All This?

Honestly, it's all just a show. A carefully orchestrated performance designed to make us think that someone's in control, that there's a method to the madness. But let's be real: it's a chaotic, unpredictable mess, and a single day off isn't going to change a damn thing.